Fancy Fresh Salsa

A cold-process party-pleaser! Technically a pico of some kind. Add to mashed avocado for some killer guac. For some unknown reason, is massively popular with white middle-aged women. Not for those who fear vegetables.

Required Ingredients

• 6-10 Tomatoes, fresh. Recommend on-the-vine or Roma, enough to count for 2-3 cups if minced
• Purple onion
• Fresh cilantro
• 2-3 limes
• 1 jalapeno pepper
• Garlic, jarred is fine.
• Salt to taste
• Corn chips for serving

Optional Ingredients

• More or hotter peppers
• Corn, one can, drained
• Bell peppers, recommend green for color

Process

1. Murder the tomatoes into small, easy to handle chunks, probably 1/4 inch ish. Small enough to get onto a chip. Put them in a largish bowl, recommend a bowl that has a lid.


2. Also mince down the onion and add it to the bowl.


3. If using bell peppers, mince these as well, and add to bowl.


4. Add the can of corn if you wish. Adds color and crunch.


5. Juice the limes, add to bowl, and stir it all in. Important to get this distributed instead of just pickling whatever is on top. If you're feeling extra fancy, also zest the limes and add that in as well.


6. Roughly chop the cilantro and add to mix. Stir again.


7. Carefully remove the seeds and mince the jalapeno, and optionally any hotter peppers, as tiny as is physically possible. Turn it into DUST. Add to the mix, and stir.


8. Add 2-3 healthy, heaping spoonfulls of garlic. Stir.


9. Using a selection of the EXACT SAME CHIPS IT WILL BE SERVED WITH, add salt bit by bit until the blend is acceptable. It is important to know how the exact salt level of the chosen chips will interact.


10. Can be kept in the fridge for up to five days, or at room temperature for up to eight hours. The longer it sits, the more the lime, garlic, and jalapeno do their work, and the stronger it gets. This is not a bad thing; feel free to make this a day or two in advance, or serve fresh off the chopping block. Do NOT freeze or attempt to can.