Low Country Boil

A classic from the coastal Carolinas. Known to be messy to eat, not for impressing the in-laws, but great if you're feeling feral. Also can serve a lot of people depending on the size of the pot.

Required Ingredients

• Red potatoes, up to 5 lbs, or 2-4 per person.
• Corn on the cob, fresh, 1 or 2 cobs per person.
• Smoked sausage, 1 for every 2 people.
• Shrimp, at least 1 lb, more as affordable or desired. Large is best, does not need to be pre-peeled. Thaw before attempting.
• Garlic, fresh, whole bulbs. Lots.
• Zataran's Crab Boil Bag (or a ton of Old Bay and seasoning salt)

Optional Ingredients

• Sweet onions
• Lemons, whole

Process

1. Put the potatoes in a pot they do not take up more than half of, and cover them with at least three inches of water. Add the crab boil pack or replacement seasoning(it's okay if it's strong, the juice isn't eaten). Set on high, with intent to boil.


2. Murder the garlic. Peel the paper off and get it down to the cloves, but don't fuss too much about peeling the individual cloves. Just get them separated from each other and throw them in the pot.


3. If using onions, peel the outer layer of paper and quarter them so that the quarters are held together at the growth point. Add these to the pot.


4. If using lemons, cut them in half and add directly to the pot. Consider removing visible seeds, but don't stress.


5. Allow all of this to boil for roughly 20 minutes.


6. Shuck the corn, and snap the cobs in half. This can be done by hand, but is messy, or with a knife. Add this to the pot and set a timer for twelve minutes.


7. Cut the sausage into healthy chunks, 2-3 inches long, and add to pot.


8. Once the timer from the corn step goes off, add the shrimp. Cook for three minutes or slightly less.


9. Strain. It helps to have a big colander. Other methods include a fryer scoop, very large slotted spoon, or clean bucket with smallish holes drilled in the bottom (makes a great plant pot later). Don't bother to keep the liquid.


10. Serve in allotted piles (or just a free for all); eat with fork and butter knife with optional simply hands for wrangling shrimp and corn. The garlic bulbs should be soft enough to squeeze, producing pure garlic paste that can be spread on potatoes and corn (or toast, later). Use salt to taste on individual servings.