Spinach Alfredo

Not approved in any capacity by Italians. Has been known to cause Italian death by shock. Is in fact a very, very, very bastardized mac-n-cheese recipe, but looks and tastes significantly better than canned alfredo anyway.

Required Ingredients

• Pasta, any kind. Fettucine is well known. Penne or Rotini are easier to eat cold the next day.
• Milk, 4 cups
• Butter, 4 tablespoons/half a stick
• Cornstarch, 4 tablespoons
• Parmesan, the kind that comes in a triangle brick in the deli. One brick. NOT THE EVIL KIND IN THE GREEN CAN.
• Fresh baby spinach
• Garlic, any kind
• Salt and pepper to taste

Optional Ingredients

• Chicken, cooked ahead of time and chunked or cut into strips.

Process

1. Set up the noodles in the background to cook as instructed on the package. Continue with other things during this process.


2. Grate your parmesan brick, and set it aside. It's okay to use the rind, too, or not.


3. Set up a wok or decently sized sauce pan on LOW heat. Add the butter into it.


4. VERY CAREFULLY melt the butter, but do not brown it.


5. The second the butter is melted, or slightly before, add the spinach and garlic. Cook until the spinach is just barely wilted. It is okay to take it off the heat temporarily after this.


6. Sprinkle the cornstarch in. Do this in batches. It should combine with the butter and leave no lumps. If there are lumps after careful sprinkle-and-stir processing, consider adding more melted butter.


7. ONLY AFTER THERE ARE NO CORNSTARCH LUMPS, add the milk and return the pot to the heat.


8. Stirring regularly, if not constantly, bring the pot to a boil and allow to simmer for about three minutes, until it starts to thicken.


9. Dump in the grated parmesan. Stir and combine until it's all melted together. Salt and pepper to taste, but be easy; the parmesan is very salty by itself.


10. Serve sauce over the noodles, with optional chicken. Serves and stores fine separately or together with the noodles.