Welcome to AvantGoblin!

Do you like GoBLINS?! THESE ARE GOBLINS!!!! Do you wanna buy some goblins, but are annoyed with capitalism? Do you wanna support a small time artist who can't even afford the fees for an etsy store? Do you like STICKERS?!?!?!

Shopping for these is really simple! They each have a name. Look at the name for the one you want. Look at the complete lack of a "buy now" or an "add to cart" button. Remember the name. Maybe write it down on a sticky note.

Then, email me. Really.

verdisjack@gmail.com

Let me know how many you want, of which ones, where you would like them mailed, and what PayPal address you would like billed. They're all vinyl stickers, sized to fit in Magic card equipent, so are usually between 2.5 to 3 inches squarish. I will send you a confirmation email to make sure you get the right thing at the right price, and a PayPal request; then print out the stickers on the printer in the corner, cut them out, and have them sent to you with a nice, convenient, US mail forever stamp.

Goblin stickers are, at this time, $5 for a single, $20 for five, or $100 for 30. Feel free to ask about special retail pricing (I already have displays in two local-to-me stores!). Mix and match, or get them all the same. It's okay if you can't spell, or can't remember the exact name of the one you want, if you remember anything to pick it out with. There's a human person on the other end of this email, with a printer and a book of stamps. SHIPPING IS FREE IN THE US, AND ONLY $2 WORLDWIDE!!!! FOR ANY AMOUNT!!!!!! Repeat customers also have the option to pay with a personal check or cash! Your first order has a return address; send it back with payment for your next order, when you're ready. This does take slightly longer.

Behold, the goblin gathering! For the moment, these are sorted alphabetically.

Name Bio Catchphrase/Caption Just the Goblin! Captioned
AAAAA She screams a lot. SCREAM LIKE YOU MEAN IT! a screaming goblin. a screaming goblin with her catchphrase captioned on.
Ace He has five of them; do not trust him. POKER? I HARDLY KNOW 'ER! An old goblin with an ace pride sweater and a loaded hand of cards. An old goblin with an ace pride sweater and a loaded hand of cards, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Acorn Just a cool old-lady goblin LEAN ON ME an old lady goblin with a cane and an incredible hat. an old lady goblin with a cane and an incredible hat, and her catchphrase captioned on.
Ball He is too fat to walk, and must roll. THEY SEE ME ROLLIN' the fattest possible goblin, upside-down because he cannot walk. the fattest possible goblin, upside-down because he cannot walk, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Banana Wait, this isn't a goblin... but they seem happy enough to be here! BANANA FOR SCALE a yellow kobold with bananas. a yellow kobold with bananas and their catchphrase captioned on.
Barf They're pretty quiet, but the soup is good. Doing SOUPer a smiling goblin, growing mushrooms and holding a bowl of soup. a smiling goblin, growing mushrooms and holding a bowl of soup, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Berrie She likes milk and the color pink ;) Sweet Jugs! A goblin with two jugs of strawberry milk and a red dress. A goblin with two jugs of strawberry milk and a red dress, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Blossom The keeper of the possums! EVERYONE DESERVES POCKETS a goblin wearing a purple hoodie full of possums. a goblin wearing a purple hoodie full of possums, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Brain If you're not the smartest person in the room, you need a bigger head. BEWARE THE MIND GOBLIN a goblin with a large head, chewing on a bone. a goblin with a large head, chewing on a bone, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Braveheart Another sneaky kobold... looks like this one is leaving. BE KOBOLD IN THE FACE OF DANGER a screaming kobold with a stick. a screaming kobold with a stick and his catchphrase captioned on.
Brendan If I said I was sorry again, but with specifics and on my knees, would you believe me this time? YOUR ANXIETY IS LYING TO YOU a nervous goblin with a broken-hearted ghost. a nervous goblin with a broken-hearted ghost, and his catchphrase captioned on.
Bridgette A fancy little goblin princess, here to prove that, with training, goblins can be neat and pretty and point both eyes in the same direction. Be Your Own Princess a fancy princess goblin. a fancy princess goblin with her catchphrase captioned on.
Bunny They like bunnies. HAPPY EASTER! a goblin in a basket, with bunnies. a goblin in a basket, with bunnies, and their catchphrase captioned on.
Bunting A classic swamp goblin, bearing gifts and friends. FROGS AND CRANBERRIES
it must be fall
a goblin, holding two frogs and a bag of red berries. a goblin, holding two frogs and a bag of red berries, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Buttercup There is a shortage of perfect quotes in this world. It would be a shame to not put goblins on them. Rodens of Unusual Size? I Don't Think They Exist a goblin in a red dress, facing a capybara in black a goblin in a red dress, facing a capybara in black, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Butternut She's lost a few teeth, but can still do an awesome wheelie. KEEP ON ROLLING a goblin in a wheelchair, having an amazing time a goblin in a wheelchair, having an amazing time, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Candle Hey, popping out of cakes at certain events pays the bills. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! a screaming goblin. a screaming goblin with her catchphrase captioned on.
Caroline They might be lost, but have found a friendly looking cube to be lost with. THE CAKE IS A LIE a goblin peering through an infinite Portal. a goblin peering through an infinite Portal, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Casey Just another dice goblin! DICE IS NICE a goblin reaching for dice. a goblin reaching for dice, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Cherries A jolly sailor and pie enthusiast A PIE-RAT'S LIFE FOR ME A pirate goblin, holding a pie with a rat in it. A pirate goblin, holding a pie with a rat in it, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Chrysanthemum A grim-faced but very effective vampire hunter and part-time edgelord PERFECT MAKEUP
PERFECT MOOD
PERFECT DAY
a grim goblin wearing a shredded outfit and incredible eyeliner. a grim goblin wearing a shredded outfit and incredible eyeliner, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Clover Someone took a little tumble. MUCHAS GRASSY ASS a goblin, upside-down, with grass and weeds on top. a goblin, upside-down, with grass and weeds on top, their catchphrase captioned on.
Davy All dressed up, but they have nowhere to go. I wanna be your personal penguin a goblin and a penguin, hanging out and being cool. a goblin and a penguin, hanging out and being cool, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Dawn Y'all remember that video of a raccoon trying to wash cotton candy? DRY CLEAN ONLY a goblin and a raccoon sharing cotton candy. a goblin and a raccoon sharing cotton candy, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Dennis Kilroy was here DOMO ARIGATO MR. ROBOTO a robotic goblin with an evil look. a robotic goblin with an evil look, and their catchphrase captioned on.
DJ Bongo "imma need more DJ Bongo lore and content asap"
- a friend
HAVE PRIDE IN YOURSELF a goblin wearing cool shades and a rainbow of bongos. a goblin wearing cool shades and a rainbow of bongos, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Edgar He was hired for promotional purposes, but still looks pretty cool. You don't have to order the one with the email; it's here for archival purposes. just the shipping email, see the top of the page a goblin doing the squint-at-paper meme face, wearing old timey clothes and glasses. a goblin doing the squint-at-paper meme face, wearing old timey clothes and glasses, with the order email captioned on.
Eevee Is the goblin named after the dog, or the dog named after the goblin? Do dogs usually have leaves or lightning? you have
AMAZING POTENTIAL
a goblin juggling stones, and an eevee watching. a goblin juggling stones, and an eevee watching, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Fidough Just a goblin and a weird dog playing frisbee JUST DOUGH IT! a goblin and a fidough chasing a frisbee. a goblin and a fidough chasing a frisbee, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Fluffy Hey! How come goblins don't have leash laws? What do you mean the leash laws are fake? Havin' a RUFF DAY a mildly annoyed kobold with a collar a mildly annoyed kobold with a collar, and his catchphrase captioned on.
The Gang WE LOVE CASTING SPELLS! SHADOW WIZARD MONEY GANG two goblins with wizard robes and rapper chains two goblins with wizard robes and rapper chains, and their catchphrase captioned on.
Hogtied Just a simple country goblin, with a love of chicken both fluffy and fried CHICK MAGNET A derpy goblin with a chicken and several chicks A derpy goblin with a chicken and several chicks, and his catchphrase captioned on.
Kellan Anyway, here's Wonderwall LIFE IS SHORT
TAKE THE TRIP
BUY THE SHOES
EAT THE CAKE
SLEEP WITH THE
GUITAR PLAYER
a goblin with a guitar, chilling and strumming. a goblin with a guitar, chilling and strumming, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Kermit Someday, we'll find it... the rainbow connection... It's Not Easy Being Green a goblin on a log, playing the banjo left-handed. a goblin on a log, playing the banjo left-handed, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Laurel She's doing her best, but girls are pretty and also terrifying. I'm actually a
USELESS LESBIAN
a goblin holding a bouquet, sporting a stupid but happy expression. a goblin holding a bouquet, sporting a stupid but happy expression, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Maple She'd wear UGG boots if goblins could wear shoes. Basic as it gets. Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice a goblin holding a latte, leaning on a pumpkin. a goblin holding a latte, leaning on a pumpkin, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Marguerite She's gotta hold that lamp post up, the way the whole world is swaying. Wait, what's in that glass? Liquor? I hardly know 'er! a goblin with a margarita, leaning on a lamp post. a goblin with a margarita, leaning on a lamp post, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Mikki A precious little doodlebug, with company Draw Me Like one of your FUNKY CRITTERS a doodling goblin and an echidna a doodling goblin and an echidna, with their catchprhase captioned on.
Mimic-You A pair of funky little creatures, here to show off their weird dog outfits BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE a goblin and a mimikyu dressed alike a goblin and a mimikyu dressed alike, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Miso and Mochi We're not sure which is which... and they're not sure either, anymore. Just happy to be together :) you make MISO happy a goblin and a kobold, sharing soup a goblin and a kobold, sharing soup, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Moog Moog is actually the cat. We're not sure who that is hugging her, but hope they feel better for it. EMBRACE THE VOID a goblin hugging a black cat. a goblin hugging a black cat, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Myst Ask about the secret, longer, more accurate to source quote print version, not pictured for readability. WHO WILL FIND MY BOOK? a goblin and a very magical book falling into a starry fissure. a goblin and a very magical book falling into a starry fissure, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Pancake Bless your heart, you're so sweet! Roses are Red
& Violets are Purple
Sugar is Sweet
And So's Maple Syrple
a goblin holding a big stack of pancakes. a goblin holding a big stack of pancakes, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Parental Polycule of Squash Acorn, Butternut, and Zucchini doing their triad thing to be as helpful as possible to anyone who needs that parental support YOUR GOBLIN PARENTS BELIEVE IN YOU Three goblins with mobility aids making a heart with all their hands. Three goblins with mobility aids making a heart with all their hands; their catchphrase captioned on.
Peas A messy little chef, if you peas. DO YOU PEA SOUP? a chef goblin dropping peas into a pot. a chef goblin dropping peas into a pot, with his catchphrase captioned on.
Pecan That's quite a sack... DRAGON DEEZ NUTZ a kobold dragging a bag of mixed nuts. a kobold dragging a bag of mixed nuts, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Pony How do you get that bow-legged when your horse is that thin? Is Pony okay? STICK EM UP! a cowboy goblin with a stick pony. a cowboy goblin with a stick pony and his catchphrase captioned on.
Posey Spring is sprung, and the bees are a-buzz Beauty is in the eye of the BEE-HOLDER a goblin in a pink dress with hands full of bees. a goblin in a pink dress with hands full of bees, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Prism Another self-promo goblin special, like Edgar. Feel free to ignore the captioned version, it's just here to balance the table. Creator's instagram handle: @jackverdis a fancy goblin posing in a rainbow dress a fancy goblin posing in a rainbow dress, with the creator's instagram handle captioned on.
Quinn A sleepy little goblin, and their Australian Outback murderer (by cuteness, of course) Not Dead, Just Ugly And Tired. Please let me sleep! a sleepy australian goblin with a quokka a sleepy australian goblin with a quokka, and their catchprhase captioned on.
Scorpion Punk's not dead yet, just wearing fishnets and doing her best. The doors are locked and theres no escape.... Hit It a rockstar goblin in a leather dress and fishnets a rockstar goblin in a leather dress and fishnets, with her catchprhase captioned on.
Singe BURN! BURN IT ALL DOWN! By the way, I'm sorry, Jade. I hope you still love the goblin. BURN BRIGHT a goblin smiling maniacally and holding up fire in her bare fists. a goblin smiling maniacally and holding up fire in her bare fists, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Tiedhog What if our friend Hogtied, with the chickens, had a nice strong girlfriend to help out with the roosters? NICE COCK a goblin with a rooster a rooster and a goblin, with her catchphrase captioned on.
Tootie She may be dead, but the whispers in the wind still carry the sound of her pipes through the flowers on her grave. TOOT YOUR TRUTH a ghostly goblin with pan-pipes and roses. a ghostly goblin with pan-pipes and roses, and her catchphrase captioned on.
Walnut Hey, hamsters do it all the time. GOBLIN DEEZ NUTS a goblin, holding nuts, mouth full of more nuts. a goblin, holding nuts, mouth full of more nuts, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Wilson and Speckles Plenty of people have heard of babies being stolen and replaced with goblins... but some confused fairy tried to trade a goblin for a goblin, and now Wilson and his pet fairy dragon Speckles are off to find and confront the imposter left behind. Be PAWSitive! a goblin walking beside a fairy dragon. a goblin walking beside a fairy dragon, with their catchphrase captioned on.
Zucchini Goblin dads are already the best, but Zucchini goes the extra mile, even with the walker. YOU HAVE SUPPORT an old man goblin with a walker. an old man goblin with a walker and his catchphrase captioned on.

This website is very much under construction. I am learning to code as I go, and there are a great many things that will appear here, in time. Stay posted. And thank you for your visit to AvantGoblin!